


Mac and Charlie Die

by ceralynn



Series: Fic Per Episode [5]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceralynn/pseuds/ceralynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'll suck it down, dude."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mac and Charlie Die

"Hey, you know what we should do now? Now that we're hobo drifters?"

"What, Charlie?"

"Have gay sex."

Mac spit a sip's worth of beer into the fire and coughed. "What? Dude, why!?"

"Well, what do you mean?"

"Why would we have gay sex..?"

Charlie rolled his eyes and smiled. It was a rare treat for him to know more about a thing than Mac did.

"Dude, hobo drifters are having gay sex with each other all the time! It's in so many books, dude." Charlie counted them on his fingers with his beer was he went. "On the Road? By that Jack Kerry guy? Lots of gay sex. Um.. other books.."

"...I don't recall any gay sex in On the Road."

"Uh, well, it's called subtext, bro, it's a common element of many texts."

"You can't even read regular text, Charlie! Don't talk to me about subtext!!"

"OKAY! Okay. Look." Charlie sipped his beer, giving himself time to think. "Look. You're a full grown man, right, Mac?"

"I am a very grown man."

"Right, and you've got all your amenities out here. You got hotdogs to eat, you got beer, but you know what you don't got?"

Mac raised his eyebrows.

"Chicks."

"Chicks, of course."

"Of course, dude," Charlie flailed his beer bottle emphatically. "I mean, you're ok now, but in a few days, you're gonna be, like, jonesing for female companionship!"

"I totally will!"

"And what are you gonna do? There's no female hobo drifters."

"No, of course not, they have programs to prevent that! Battered women places, that WIC thing.."

"Yeah, Women In Children."

"...I don't think that's what it stands for."

"It's not important, dude, the point is, there's no chicks out there. But you know who has a comparably soft and alluring feminine form?"

"Dennis?"

"Thi- what? Dennis?" Charlie made exasperated noises. "No, dude, Dennis isn't soft, he's like made of twigs."

"Well, yeah, cause all his fat goes to his ass."

"Why would I tell you—? No. No, dude, me. I am comparably soft and alluring and feminine."

Mac's eyes narrowed. "Not really as feminine as Dennis.."

"Look, Mac, if you bring up Dennis one more time, and I'm not gonna let you do this."

"Gotcha. Wanna do it in the tent?"

"Hell yeah I wanna do it in the tent."


End file.
